Not in the Job Description

Circa February '08

At the Brookwood Mall, I was able to give Magan a break and walk the boys around so she could have some time to shop alone. I enjoy these times with the boys, because we get to enjoy the stores I like together (Toys and Books). But on this particular occasion, Sam and Davis were working together to see just how good ole Dad was today. Almost immediately after Magan had left me…alone…I realized that both of my dear children had soiled their diapers. But that is OK, I was ready, the diaper bag was fully stuffed with the required items, and I made my way to the family bathroom near the food court that I had spotted a few months back.

After banging the stroller thru the bathroom door that I held open for myself, I locked us in the restroom to begin the procedure. The koala bear table folded down nicely and felt secure, so I unfastened Davis and placed him upon the table. I like to be fully prepared so I carefully laid out my replacement diaper, wipees, and of course Beaudrouxs Butt Paste. The process began rather nicely as I cleaned Davis off, but then I heard the toilet flush behind me, and turned to see Sam pressing the button. This was OK until he thought he would start playing with the lid. AGHHH, Yuk…after convincing him that that was gross and he shouldn’t do that, I began placing the new diaper on Davis. The diaper is almost second nature to me by now, but the application of the Butt Paste can be tricky, especially when you are at the very last bit, and must use a two handed squeeze technique to get any out.

When finally I was able to get some out onto my forefinger for proper application, I heard the faucet come on very loudly, and as I turned to see Sam stretching to wash his hands, Davis kicked his little feet and knocked my little glob of Beauxdrouxs onto the floor. As my perspiration began kicking in overdrive, I was finally able to manage one last glob, slap that diaper on Davis and fasten him in. I then quickly changed Sam, washed his hands several times, and attempted to blow dry the wet spots on his shirt from the earlier faucet spray.

There was a certain amount of pride I felt that day as I left the bathroom, banging the stroller several times on the way out. It was not very efficient, not very clean, but I did get the job done, and I felt the stares as I left that family restroom, and I knew what they were thinking…There goes a Super Dad.